I headed to the Roosevelt track this morning at 6:15 with headlamp in hand and with a sense that perhaps if I ran there once a week that it might let you know that you are not alone in your track workouts there in Blantyre even though it is not your favorite thing to do.
(So, not only am I getting up much earlier these days to run and I'm running on Sunday mornings with the Oiselle group, but I am going to a track voluntarily. I wonder if I need to be checking my temperature.)
On the way running to Roosevelt, the song "Soul Sister" that Taylor loves was stuck in my head. I thought at least the title of the song was appropriate, Elizabeth, as that describes us pretty well.
As I ran this morning, I tried to pray for something different for your family during each lap. And this morning, these are the things that came to mind as I was praying and circling that track:
1) for patience- for you two especially as you all parent Micah in this season of transition... (and for patience with one another with so much stress that is on your shoulders...)
2) for wisdom- for your words, for your responses, for the way you guide and lead and serve Micah....
3) for a softening of Micah's heart....that he would be able to listen and learn in all of this and that his spirit would be moldable and shapable...
4) and as the colors hinted at the sun coming up on the horizon, I prayed that you would know that God's mercies are new every morning...and that you would know His faithfulness today.
5) And then I thought of this email that continues to encourage me in my parenting from a friend I worked with in Yosemite years ago. I know I've shared this with you before, but it bears repeating:
"As I have struggled (recently), I have been asked where I see God in all of this. Most people assume that because my life isn't rosy right now, I should or must feel angry or disappointed or abandoned by God. But, what I feel is so blessed. I have felt Him walk with me through this path, holding me from the very bottom, giving me hope. The analogy I have thought of is my relationship with my daughter Siena. She can be so volatile, so moody and prone to great fits of frustration and anger. While this often frustrates (and often angers) me, it is also in those moments when she is most unable to help herself, or control herself, or find her center, that I feel most the blessing of parenthood. For I get to hold her, discipline her, love on her in the midst of her worst moments. Most people (adult to adult) don't put up with that kind of behavior. But I have the privilege of holding her and saying that I love her even in the midst of all these times and God has entrusted me to help shape who she is. Those are the moments when I feel like my love for her (marked often with some discipline or firmness) has the greatest ability to help her be herself, to find what is truly herself, to hold her through the whirling of emotions. It is fun to be a mom when the kids are happy and Siena is full of hugs and love and we play, but I most cherish those moments when I am her rock, and I hold her from flying off into the cosmos, unfettered and unhappy. And that is how I see God - holding me when I feel like I might come apart, stroking my hair and saying, "shh, it will be okay, just rest and let the moment pass."
On the way running to Roosevelt, the song "Soul Sister" that Taylor loves was stuck in my head. I thought at least the title of the song was appropriate, Elizabeth, as that describes us pretty well.
As I ran this morning, I tried to pray for something different for your family during each lap. And this morning, these are the things that came to mind as I was praying and circling that track:
1) for patience- for you two especially as you all parent Micah in this season of transition... (and for patience with one another with so much stress that is on your shoulders...)
2) for wisdom- for your words, for your responses, for the way you guide and lead and serve Micah....
3) for a softening of Micah's heart....that he would be able to listen and learn in all of this and that his spirit would be moldable and shapable...
4) and as the colors hinted at the sun coming up on the horizon, I prayed that you would know that God's mercies are new every morning...and that you would know His faithfulness today.
5) And then I thought of this email that continues to encourage me in my parenting from a friend I worked with in Yosemite years ago. I know I've shared this with you before, but it bears repeating:
"As I have struggled (recently), I have been asked where I see God in all of this. Most people assume that because my life isn't rosy right now, I should or must feel angry or disappointed or abandoned by God. But, what I feel is so blessed. I have felt Him walk with me through this path, holding me from the very bottom, giving me hope. The analogy I have thought of is my relationship with my daughter Siena. She can be so volatile, so moody and prone to great fits of frustration and anger. While this often frustrates (and often angers) me, it is also in those moments when she is most unable to help herself, or control herself, or find her center, that I feel most the blessing of parenthood. For I get to hold her, discipline her, love on her in the midst of her worst moments. Most people (adult to adult) don't put up with that kind of behavior. But I have the privilege of holding her and saying that I love her even in the midst of all these times and God has entrusted me to help shape who she is. Those are the moments when I feel like my love for her (marked often with some discipline or firmness) has the greatest ability to help her be herself, to find what is truly herself, to hold her through the whirling of emotions. It is fun to be a mom when the kids are happy and Siena is full of hugs and love and we play, but I most cherish those moments when I am her rock, and I hold her from flying off into the cosmos, unfettered and unhappy. And that is how I see God - holding me when I feel like I might come apart, stroking my hair and saying, "shh, it will be okay, just rest and let the moment pass."
Know that I'm continuing to hold you in prayer today-
XOXOXOXO...
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